I’m honestly so relieved this site exists. It’s clear, it’s well-researched, and it’s exactly what people need—both for those who decided to leave (or were kicked out), and for anyone who might be on the edge of getting pulled in.

Reading through all the stories and Q&As, I keep wondering: what would current members feel if they read this? Do they take any responsibility at all? Do they realize they might be part of the damage? Do they feel even a flicker of accountability? Or empathy? Do they feel misunderstood—or does this kind of truth just make them double down?

If I were in their shoes, I’d feel sick. I’d feel heartbroken.

I remember being told not to engage with anything “negative”—that it was just a distraction from our “calling.” But looking back, that just sounds like: “Don’t read it, because it might make you question things we can’t explain.” That’s not faith—that’s fear. And control. I wish more members were curious. I wish they were encouraged to ask hard questions. Blind obedience is not faith. It’s naivety. It’s manipulation. And honestly, it’s just not healthy.

The thing that really gets me, though, is that years later—years—I’m still having nightmares about OI.

Nightmares aren’t random. They happen when something is unbalanced. Trauma, stress, fear, depression—it all shows up when your guard is down. I don’t dream about good memories. I don’t have nightmares about love or peace.

My nightmares scream the truth:
OI is duplicitous.